


The Full Dapper Dipper Experience

by LoonyLoomy



Category: Gravity Falls, Over the Garden Wall (Cartoon)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Blow Jobs, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hand Jobs, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-21
Updated: 2015-05-21
Packaged: 2018-03-31 14:59:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3982381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoonyLoomy/pseuds/LoonyLoomy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What do you get when you combine a wedding, two dorks madly in love, and a hopeless romantic of a sister?</p>
<p>(…Pinescone smut. The answer is Pinescone smut.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Full Dapper Dipper Experience

Wirt's hand hovered over the doorbell before he heard a 'thump' sound that drew his attention to the window to the right of it. He saw Mabel's face smushed up against the glass and she gave him an excited wave, her eagerness and joy just as infectious as ever. He smiled in return and lifted his hand away from the doorbell in acknowledgement.

"Be right there!" she said with muffled enthusiasm. Wirt snorted at the fact that her makeup was left smeared on the window when she left.

A second later, Mabel was opening the door and, before he knew it, he was being pulled into a hug. He pushed down his automatic reaction to stiffen and instead wrapped his arms around her, giving her a squeeze before relinquishing his hold. She graciously stepped back a moment after, probably keen to have hugged him for a lot longer than she did.

"It's nice to see you. You look beautiful," he commented. Mabel was wearing a long, flowing dress the color of early evening, when the sky's blue was just beginning to deepen, with matching gloves. A striking white bow was tied around her waist. Her hair had been preened and curled and clipped back at the sides, but still cascaded down past her shoulders as usual, and her eyes were brighter than ever with the shimmering eyeshadow enunciating their natural charm.

"Oh, psssh, please, this is just some old thing I threw on," she said, flicking her hair and looking away. Then, she turned back with a sly grin and added: "I  _do_  look good, don't I?"

Wirt laughed. "The best," he said earnestly. The light in the hall had caught a glint of something on Mabel's cheeks and he asked, "I don't... I don't have glitter on me from that hug, do I?"

She pursed her lips and squinted at him. "It makes you look cute," she concluded. "Now, come on, you can't be dilly-dally-doollying all day long, you've got a dork to go see!"

"Ah, is, uh, Dipper up in his room?" He glanced around the corner into the living room as Mabel got behind him, grabbed a hold of his shoulders and started pushing him in the direction of the stairs. "W-wait, I was just gonna—uh, hello, Mr and Mrs Pines—!" was all he managed to get out before he was stumbling up the stairs.

"You gotta be quick! Dipper's been wanting to take off his suit since the moment he got home, and you  _so_  have to get the full Dapper Dipper experience. Leave everything else to Able Mabel! Now go, go, go!"

When Wirt turned around, the hurricane of energy that was Mabel Pines had already left the hallway. He lingered for a moment, wondering what exactly it was she meant by 'everything else', but then decided he should be following her advice and ended up taking the remaining steps two at a time to get to his boyfriend's bedroom. And, despite what she'd said, he used one of his sweater sleeves to wipe off the body glitter on his cheeks.

He didn't stop to knock before opening Dipper's door, but he found that his mind shut down before he could pass the threshold.

Dipper was facing away from him, looking into a mirror as he muttered something to himself. Wirt could see in the reflection that he was fumbling with the tie he was wearing, but he was more focused on the fact that  _Dipper Pines was in a suit_. His usually scruffy, unkempt boyfriend now had combed, shiny hair, a well-fitting black jacket and pants, and... were those  _coattails_?

Wirt decided he would gladly live without his brain for the remainder of his life.

"Get... off... of... me..." Dipper huffed, making absolutely no effort at all in trying to hide his annoyance with this stupid suit. And the stupid coattails. And the tie. The stupid tie. Stupid.

Dipper didn't even want to go to his cousin’s wedding in the first place. Going meant having to cancel a movie date with Wirt, which was already pretty terrible, but then a groomsman dropped out days before the event and his mother volunteered him to fill in the position.

In theory, he was perfect for it: old enough to blend in with the other groomsmen (although he was the shortest in the bunch), and smart enough to memorize the order in which all the groomsmen walked into the church, where to stand, when and where to exit, and whatever else. 

Unfortunately, it also meant he couldn't get away with hiding away in a corner or using a clip-on tie or _anything_ that would have made the experience more comfortable. In every one of the freakin' _tons_ of group photos that had been taken, he had either a forced smile or a set frown.

His relatives all thought he looked "so handsome" in his suit—they were used to seeing him in old t-shirts and wrinkled shorts—but he knew better. He was sure he looked just as uncomfortable as he felt.

The reception, the loud music, the constant forced interactions with his family members: all of this piled up and worsened his mood. He could've spent his day with Wirt, watching movies, eating obscene amounts of junk food, kissing... especially the kissing. 

He'd missed out on all of it.

There really was no one person he could blame for this mess, but at least now that it was all over he could dump the blame on this _stupid_ tie.

Dipper had been at this forever now, and he'd made little to no progress. He was actually starting to think the knot had gotten tighter since he'd started. It wasn't like it was a hard thing to do, but he literally could not spare a moment away from his annoyance to stop and think about it. Maybe he could ask Mabel? He was sure she was still prancing around the house in her outfit. She loved to dress up; the wedding was just one big excuse to doll herself up and coat her face with blush and body glitter.

He let a frustrated sigh and whipped around, ready to march straight to his sister’s room when his eyes met a familiar gray shade.

"Wirt?" he asked in surprise, his voice going up an octave in a completely unmanly manner. Wirt usually called before he paid a visit, but no, no call. He was just _there._

Oh god, Wirt could've caught him naked—well, that wouldn't have been too bad, he'd already seen him naked before—but no. He just _had_ to catch him when he was wearing this ridiculous monkey suit. His first instinct was to try and cover himself up as much as possible with his arms, although that did hardly anything to help out his current situation.

"What are you... Why are you here?" he yelped, still surprised, but mostly embarrassed.

"Uhhh..." Wirt said intelligently. He pulled his gaze away from his boyfriend to shut the door behind him and glance anxiously around at the room as if that would give an answer to why Dipper seemed confused. "I thought you knew I was... Mabel said you wanted me to... _ohhh._  Mabel. She—she called me saying that you wanted me to come over. And you were caught up in talking to your parents or something so she called instead of you? That's... I mean, I'm not sure why she did that, but"—he blushed hard—"I'm really... that suit... _wow_."

Even worse at saying words than usual, of course.

But, apparently, it was thanks to Mabel that he got to see this dumbfounding display. She  _was_  always trying to look out for the both of them... Sometimes she seemed more emotionally invested in their relationship than  _they_  were. Helping them to confess to each other all that time ago, planning dates, getting them alone time together—still, this was kinda odd. He was extremely grateful he got to discover his boyfriend was, in fact, secretly an Adonis on earth, but there was a part of him wondering what she was trying to do exactly. A part that sat at the back of his brain. Behind all the parts cataloging every detail about Dipper. And storing them away for lonely nights.

Wirt gulped.

One of Dipper's hands flew up to nervously tug at his hair, the once perfectly combed back curls now starting to stick up in odd places. He looked a little more like his old self now. He didn't mean to ruin his hair; it was just one of his bad habits. He had too many of those.

"Oh man, I can't believe she called you. Why would she even...?" he muttered to himself, trying and failing to come up with a possible motivation for his sister to bring Wirt here when she knew he looked like... well, like _this_.

Dipper quickly glanced up at Wirt, and he could just tell by the look on his face that he was trying to hold back a sarcastic comment about how bad he looked.

"You don't have to say it! I know you hate it... I sure do." Dipper looked away and self-consciously wrapped his arms around his person.

Wirt sucked in a breath in response to Dipper's statement. He was so very, very handsome and he thought—? Well, no, okay, Wirt could see that this was a far cry from what Dipper would choose to wear of his own accord, same as how he would feel uncomfortable were he to be in nothing more than a t-shirt and shorts, but—Jesus Christ, just _looking_ at him made Wirt's thoughts turn into mush.

No, this was not the time for incoherence.

“Okay, no, hate it? That—that's the exact opposite of what is happening with me right, uh, right now.” Wirt's face started reddening. “In fact, I think I, like, like it to a really, really inappropriate extent.”

He tugged his sweater down a bit lower and wrenched his gaze away from his boyfriend. His face was way too hot right now. _Dipper_ was way too hot right now.

"Seriously?" Dipper scoffed. "You've got to be kidding me, dude! This thing is the worst!"

Wirt scuffed his toe on the floor and shook his head.

Judging by the way he was refusing to make direct eye contact with him, Dipper had to assume he wasn't lying. He actually _liked_ the way he looked in this suit. Dipper had no idea why. He was pretty sure he looked like a sleazy lawyer, or a direct-to-DVD James Bond.

"Well, I hate it..." he mumbled, trying to ease the tension in the room. He tugged at the tie that still held his neck in a fierce chokehold. "I've been dying to take it off since I got home!

"Maybe you could help me?" Dipper asked, at first not even noticing the innuendo hidden in his words. But the moment he did, he felt his face burn.

Oh god, why did he have to say it like that? Why why why?

“Huh?” Wirt replied. His head snapped back up to look at Dipper, heart fluttering a little just from seeing him again after staring at the floor.

This was... this was really bad. That suit was _way_ too much of a turn-on for Dipper to go around saying things like that. He could already feel a pleasant warmth in the pit of his stomach, and he and Dipper still had the length of the room between them!

But Dipper was probably only talking about the tie... right? He could... he could help him take off a tie, no problem. His heart was definitely not speeding up right now at the thought of getting closer and touching him and oh goodness he wanted to be close to Dipper so much right now.

Resolution set in his mind, he gave Dipper a nod. “Y-yeah. Um. Since you're... having trouble taking it off, I can—I can help,” he said, trying to keep his voice even. He couldn't help his face from breaking out into a small, nervous smile as his eyes caught on the way Dipper's fingers twisted into the silk fabric at his neck. God, he was so beautiful.

The tension in Dipper's face eased as Wirt approached him. He let out a breath of relief when he was finally stood in front of him, because no matter how annoyed he got about stupid weddings and dumb suits, it couldn't distract him from how much he loved Wirt. Even though Dipper was looking and sounding like an idiot right now, he was eager to finally spend well-deserved time together.

Time spent with Wirt undressing him... He blushed at his own thoughts, and then at the way his boyfriend began tugging and pulling at his tie. Dipper shrugged off his suit jacket and placed it on his bed, keeping his head low, then asked, “Better?”

Wirt pulled the tie out of its knot and cast it away from them, resolutely ignoring the fact that there was barely any distance between them and that his mind was caught up in all the things he wanted to do, because he was just helping with the tie, that was all.

Except, Dipper was just in his dress shirt now. “Yes, better,” he said quietly. He couldn't stop himself from running a hand down his boyfriend's arm almost reverently, eyes widening and meeting Dipper's. He always loved how rich those irises were, like tree bark in sunbeams, so it was after some fawning that he took note of Dipper's raised eyebrow and the way he was motioning for him to look down.

Wirt's gaze drifted to his shirt's first button, one sitting close to his neck—too close for Dipper's liking, he imagined. He used both of his (slightly shaky) hands to get it undone and marked with satisfaction the attractive hint of a collarbone that was revealed to him.

Dipper's lips curved upwards as Wirt undid the first button. He could just barely feel the tips of his fingers against his suddenly very hot skin; that slightest touch made his whole body shiver.

"Go on..." he prompted when Wirt's hands stilled.

Wirt swallowed thickly, his mouth dry and heartbeat a little erratic. But he undid each button, slowly but surely, anticipation thrumming under his skin. When he finished with the last one, he ran a hand down Dipper's smooth and appealing chest, leaving it to rest on his waist. His slid the shirt off from one of his shoulders whilst Dipper pushed it away from his other one; the piece of clothing drifted to the floor, forgotten. Wirt pulled his bottom lip in underneath his teeth as he attentively gazed at his boyfriend.

Dipper felt Wirt pulling him in almost imperceptibly closer and sucked in a deep breath. He let it out in a quiet, shivery exhale at the sight of him, the way he bit his lip. He wanted him so much. He _was_ standing there half-naked, after all.

With a silent “Fuck it” and a desire for Wirt to kiss him like there was no tomorrow, he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's neck and pulled him down to meet his lips. He greedily lapped up the small “Mm!” sound that escaped from Wirt, but soon enough he was up to speed and Dipper found _he_ was the one getting surprised by how forward _Wirt_ was being. Not that he was complaining. Like, at all. His head tilted accommodatingly to deepen the kiss instead, just like the ones he'd been daydreaming about at the reception when it had dragged on and on and on.

Wirt's hands moved to cup Dipper's jawline, but he couldn't keep them in one place for too long. All he ever wanted to do was worship his body with his touches, so they moved again, always wanting to appreciate every inch of skin available to him: across shoulders, ribs, back, then down, down, down to hips still unavailable to him because of those offending, gorgeous pants.

Oh god, those cool hands felt amazing against the sudden heat of Dipper's flesh. Fuck, he felt so hot right now; all he wanted to do was rip these uncomfortably tight pants off.

Which was why he let out a small whine when he felt Wirt's hands stop. No way was that enough. So...maybe it wouldn't be so bad if they...

Dipper sighed as he moved away from Wirt's lips, his breathing notably heavier than before. He pressed his forehead into the crook of Wirt's neck as he moved the taller boy's hands to the front of his pants, his fingers lingering over the zipper.

Wirt let out a soft “ _Oh_ ” when he realised how hard Dipper was right now. He felt a little light-headed at how quickly his blood rushed southwards in response—not that there hadn't been stirrings down there from the moment he saw him in the suit...

“You don't have to—I mean, we don't have to...” Dipper started, considering the multitude of reasons that made this moment a bad time for doing anything like this, “but I... I would like...”

With Dipper's head tucked into his neck like that, he was in a good position to whisper in Dipper's ear, “I-I want to.” If only he could have said it without stammering...

His fingers trembled as he worked at getting his pants off—he still wasn't good at showing a lot of confidence when they were doing this kind of thing—but he managed to get them to pool around Dipper's feet a moment after, where they were then kicked away in the direction of the bed.

Dipper snaked his arms around Wirt's waist, tracing circles on top of his sweater before he slipped them underneath it and onto his skin. Because it was way unfair that he still had his dumb sweater on when he was nearly naked. He loved that orange sweater, but at that moment, when all he wanted to see was his boyfriend's bare body, it really got in the way.

He grazed his fingertips up his back smiled to himself when he heard Wirt's voice hitch. Dipper tilted his head back to look at him, and both of them moved in for another kiss, all tenderness and excitement and an underlying sense of what was to come. When they separated, he pulled off his sweater and then shirt in quick succession, making Wirt's hair stand up on end. Ugh, could he stop being cute for, like, two seconds so his brain could actually work?

Oh _shit—_ fuck—okay, that was definitely another way to stop his brain in its tracks. Dipper let out a moan at the feeling of Wirt's long fingers wrapping around his cock and pulling it out of his boxers before slapping a hand over his mouth.

Wirt glanced up quickly at Dipper's face and then set his sights on what he was doing again, his hand moving up and down with some hesitation. They hadn't been doing this for very long—maybe a few weeks?—so Wirt still found himself getting euphoric and nervous and everything in between when they did. Though certain factors about tonight were making it almost, if not more, nerve-wracking than their first time. Demonstrated by the fact that Dipper was trying not to make any noise, the occasional whimper getting absorbed by his hand.

It wasn't like he could convince himself that they should stop at this point, though.

Dipper grabbed a hold of Wirt's shoulder with an iron grip and his hips gave a weak thrust into his hand, losing any sense of _'think'_ in favor of _'do'_. When Wirt's thumb traced the tip of his member, just one of his many sensitive areas, his knees trembled and he let out a long groan. His whole body felt like it was on fire from the smallest touch. He gave up the idea of covering his mouth with his hand in exchange for covering it with Wirt's lips, fingers grabbing locks of hair at the back of his head as he sucked lightly on his bottom lip.

“Dipper,” Wirt breathed out, his mind foggy. “Oh my god.”

He leaned their foreheads together as he tried to get his heaving gasps under control. For a second, he thought he could hear something low and humming, but then Dipper let out another groan, like the most harmonious composition imaginable to his ears, and he forgot all about it.

Dipper wasn't sure if he'd ever admit how much he really loved Wirt's naked body, how graceful and slender his limbs were, his peachy skin soft against his own. He loved being pressed right up against him as he touched him, and his head fell back to _'thump'_ softly against the wall as he tried to take it all in.

When Wirt looked down, blushing at what both of them looked like, an idea that he'd been considering for a while popped up in his head and he spent a moment willing himself to be forward and open about expressing it. Finally, he dropped to his knees, Dipper's crotch just a little below his face. His hand left his boyfriend's cock to hook on the hem of his boxers and pull them down.

Dipper let out a disgruntled sigh, his body immediately reeling at the loss of Wirt's sweet touch. He lifted his head away from the wall, asking, “Why did you st—” before he froze, noticing Wirt on his knees in front of him, his eyes wide, his cheeks flushed, his tongue darting out to lick his lips.

He laid his hands on Dipper's hips. It was with a soft voice that he said, “C-can I...?”

They hadn't done this before. His experience of sex went no further than the handful of times they'd gotten off on friction between their pants and the fewer amount of times they'd enjoyed handjobs. This was still all very new to him, and Wirt was wanting to experiment again? This moment was truly heaven sent.

And to think, earlier today, he was complaining about having to wear that stuffy monkey suit. If it wasn't for that dumb tux, he wouldn't be here now, with his boyfriend on his knees in front of him.

Dipper nodded. Maybe a little too eagerly for his taste.

“Yes!” he squeaked. After clearing his throat, he continued in his normal voice, “I mean... Yes. Please. If you want to. You don't have to, but I, uh... would appreciate...”

“Y-yeah, I can, um... I want to.”

Wirt swallowed and fixed his eyes on Dipper's cock, mentally prepping himself for what he was going to do. His anxieties made it hard not to turn his mind away from potential disaster, but finding out as much as he could about certain situations beforehand helped him deal with them to an extent, and knew roughly what he was supposed to do. And, god, he loved Dipper's body and would do anything he could to show that.

The delay that followed for a little while after Wirt's words made Dipper reconsider. He didn’t want Wirt to feel like he _had_ to do something like this just because Dipper wanted him to. He only ever wanted them to try out new things if they were both onboard with them. That was their deal when they first agreed to move their relationship along towards this path.

He was about to speak up about this dilemma, but he hadn't the chance before Wirt pressed his lips to the tip of his member and gradually moved them down. All he could say then was, “Wow... okay... oh my god. Holy fuck. _Wirt_...”

Wirt was concentrating so hard on not messing up that his words didn't really get through to him; all he could focus on was what he was doing and the way his heart was beating so hard it was like it was going through his entire body. It was a weird feeling having the heavy weight of Dipper's flesh on his tongue and the taste of him in his throat, but if he was making Dipper feel good, there was no question about whether he wanted to do this or not. And he wasn't choking, so that... that was a good sign.

When he got used to the new sensations, he experimented with bobbing his head a couple of times and running his tongue along the underside of his dick. He stopped momentarily when Dipper's hands gripped his hair tightly, but figured that must be a good sign, and persevered by hollowing out his cheeks and humming with pleasure.

Dipper's brain and all coherent thoughts that were forming turned to bliss at the licking, sucking, slurping he was experiencing, all better than he could have ever imagined now that it was happening first hand.

"Hhhhaaaah...!" he gasped as Wirt hummed. His eyes were closed and his brow was furrowed in concentration as he blew him, changing his technique every now and then and testing what got the best reactions out of him. Fuck, that was adorable. That he would put so much effort and concentration into something like this... how gentle and precise he was... it was all such a huge turn on.

And there he was on the opposite side of the spectrum. How was he supposed to be able to keep his cool when Wirt was doing such goddamn amazing things with his mouth? It was fucking impossible.

When Wirt took as much of him in as he could and sucked, _hard_ , Dipper let out a strangled noise that was loud enough to make his face burn in shame. He slapped his hand over his mouth again, the other one holding onto Wirt's dark hair like it was a lifeline. Shit, shit, shit, _shit,_ his family was downstairs, he couldn't—he— _oh fuck_ , _Wirt_. All he had to do was offer a teasing lick and his whole body would tremble in response. But Wirt was doing so much more than that now, and the sensations rushing through him all at once were almost too much to handle.

Every heavenly sound that Dipper made went straight towards making Wirt harder, and he was feverishly desperate for the slightest bit of friction or pressure to help relieve it. He moaned when he palmed the crotch of his pants, even with the layers of fabric between his hand and his dick, but stopped himself from indulging too much. He had too much to think about: don't scrape your teeth over it, breathe deeply through your nose, take note of what's working best and keep doing it...

Despite the fact that he was dying to get himself off and he was drooling all over his chin ( _eugh_ ), Wirt was positively electrified right now; even the fear of discovery couldn't stop that. Maybe there was even something exciting about the possibility of it happening—the clandestine nature of two lovers hidden away from the world by something as mere as gossamer, appearing like spirits locked in an eternal embrace through the translucent curtain, so that earthly pleasures may be confused with soulful ecstasy...

No, actually, he couldn't maintain that thought for a millisecond before he decided he'd die of a heart attack if there was any sign that they could be heard or walked in on.

But his mind was hazy. Dipper was shaking beneath his grasp and all Wirt could think of was how good it felt to make him feel good, thankful that he didn't seem to be doing too bad a job of this. In fact, he was pretty sure that Dipper was close now, his muffled noises getting more frequent and his hips starting to stutter of their own accord.

Wait—no—if he was close then that meant—but he—he couldn't—he didn't think he'd be able to—oh, god. He felt ashamed at his own thoughts, and then with the way he had to pull his head and mouth away from his boyfriend, at his own actions, too. He tried to make up for it by grabbing a hold of him and jerking him off at a fast pace. “I... I-I'm sorry, I just, I-I can't... I'm sorry. I love you,” Wirt tried to explain, interspersing his words with kisses left on Dipper's stomach and thighs. Was it really bad that he didn't think he could swallow for his first time? Had he ruined it?

He laid his red face on Dipper's skin to hide it, and did a twist of his wrist that he knew he liked—he just wanted him to cum now, reassure him that he wasn't a total coward or a useless boyfriend or whatever not seeing his blowjob through to the end would make him.

Dipper's disappointment at Wirt's hot, wet mouth leaving his member was short lived as it got swapped with something almost as good before he knew it, and he was sure that any second now, he'd cum. His entire body burned at Wirt's every touch, every stroke, every kiss he peppered onto his skin. It was all too much for him to handle, and before he could give his boyfriend a proper warning, Dipper came with a dangerously loud moan that even the firm clamp of his hand couldn't properly contain. His knees buckled, his toes curled, his fingers tightened their grip on Wirt's dark sienna locks. He held his boyfriend close as he kept kissing his thighs.

Fuck fuck fuck, everything felt so _good_. There no was room for any kind of coherence, no room for his usually curious mind to ponder answers to questions. There was only room for this moment, for Wirt's hand milking his cock of the last few drops of cum he had in him, of his sweet tender kisses and whispered apologies... Wait. Apologies?

It was hard to concentrate in this dazed state of mind, but yeah... Through the thick fog of lust, he could hear Wirt muttering soft “I'm sorry”s. Why would he be sorry for giving him such a fan-fucking-tastic orgasm?

Dipper lazily rolled his head to the side to catch a glimpse of his boyfriend, his face nuzzled against his thigh, cool fingers tracing his too hot skin. Dipper let his own fingers run gently through Wirt's hair, like he was easing it after the forceful grip he'd been using before, as he took a moment to catch his breath and come down from his state of bliss. “That was... you were... wow...” he whispered, his head leaning against the bedroom wall and his eyes closing. He hoped it would be easier to collect his thoughts this way.

Once Dipper knew he could think rationally, and that he could trust his knees enough to not collapse from any little movement, he adjusted himself so he too was on his knees in front of Wirt. “Why sorry?” he inquired, still a little confused by what he heard his boyfriend say. It was then that Dipper went to hold Wirt's hand, and he noticed the cum on his fingers. He immediately blushed, and realised that in his passion, he accidentally got some on his chest and shoulder too. “Oh jeez... oh god... I'm sorry. I'm... wow, I didn't mean to...” he stammered quickly.

“Huh? Oh,” Wirt remarked as he looked down at himself. He'd been a bit too distracted by certain... other things to pay much attention to what had happened, even though he'd felt it splatter onto his skin. “Don't worry about it. I was just... apologizing about the fact that I felt like I had to stop... um...” His face heated up. Why was it easier to _do_ something like that than it was to say it? “I mean, you seemed to be really enjoying yourself, but I was worried about...” The rest of his sentence came out as a mumble.

“Oh. Well, um, hey, I was totally okay with how that went, man, in case that wasn't obvious. Sorry about... worrying you.”

Wirt shook his head dismissively and Dipper's lips quirked into a half-smile in response. He shifted so he was no longer on his knees—oh, they were really hurting now—but he was more occupied by the feeling of the wet, sticky patch in his pants and even the slightest bit of friction working on his dick.

"I-I’m sorry, I really need to…" Wirt trailed off as he unbuttoned his pants and pulled his member out, a small "Nng" noise leaving his mouth as he finally touched himself. “O-oh my god, Dipper.”

The cum on his fingers got mixed with that leaking from his tip, acting amazingly as a lubricant to speed up his movements. He felt like he was going to burst any second, and he didn’t even have the mental capacity to be ashamed about it. Everything was just friction, Dipper, and a glorious, building tension.

If Dipper wasn't already exhausted from his own orgasm, he would've been hard again just from watching him. There was something absolutely stunning about seeing a person as concerned with people's perceptions as Wirt was come completely undone as he got closer and closer to his own orgasm.

And he'd just spent all that time focusing on Dipper's pleasure instead of his own. He thought the gesture was sweet, but he wanted to return the favor just as much. He wanted to drive his boyfriend crazy with desire... even if he was just a skinny, nerdy teenager.

Dipper's pupils were blown wide as he looked on, Wirt's hand going faster and faster on his own member. The sight, the sounds of it all, it was too much to take, and he knew he wouldn’t last much longer as just a passive spectator. He needed to join in.

He leaned in closer, cupping Wirt's cheek, and kissed him without warning. It caught his boyfriend off-guard; for a brief moment he even stopped touching himself.

Dipper took the opportunity to place his hand over Wirt's and guide it along his member. Their mutual speed built as Dipper's tongue toyed with Wirt's, teasing him to no end. Soon enough, it was just Dipper jacking him off, as was his plan, and now it was his boyfriend's turn to make those adorable little sounds he’d come to know and love.

His hand was almost a blur as he stroked Wirt's throbbing member—oh jeez, he was close... so very close... All he needed was a little more, and Dipper was happy to provide.

His lips abandoned Wirt's and trailed down to his neck, kissing and sucking on pale patches of skin. He smiled to himself at the multitude of little love bites building up, the marks from last time barely having faded away before he was starting them anew. Each one was another reminder of how lucky he was to have this gorgeous dork in his life.

“Mine, mine, mine,” he whispered, just loud enough for Wirt to hear as he lowered his lips onto his skin over and over again.

Wirt felt like fire was crackling and spitting underneath his skin. He was pretty sure he could be consumed wholly by that burning pleasure; Dipper could consume him and he'd exist only for him, only... “Yours, yours, yours,  _ah…_  Di…Dipper… Oh god…” Wirt threw his head back and let his heaving breaths push his body against Dipper's mouth like the sea against the horizon.

Needing something to anchor himself, his arms flew up to latch onto his boyfriend's shoulders as he panted and shuddered and the crescendo of sensation finally reached its fortissimo. He clutched tightly onto Dipper, body spasming and then slowly subsiding, and choked out an “I love you,” with his face buried in the crook of his neck.

Dipper stroked his hair and said, “I love you too.”

Wirt kissed him soundly then, trying to get across his adoration through the slightest shift of his lips, the tilting of his head, the closed eyelids sharpening his focus on nothing more than what they were feeling.

After that, it took them a while for them to collect themselves. As Wirt worked on making his breathing more even, Dipper couldn't help but let a grin spread across his face at what he looked like in that moment.

Wirt wasn't a neat freak by any means—the crumpled up pieces of paper and the library books that were scattered across his bedroom floor were proof of this—but he was one to put some effort into his appearance. His hair had to be properly tamed each morning to prevent it from sticking up at awkward, gravity defying angles, and his sweaters were always neatly pressed and smelled of laundry detergent.

Now, Dipper wasn't saying he didn't love all those meticulous little details about his boyfriend... He was just saying that there was something oddly appealing about seeing him in his most natural state. Exhausted. Kinda sweaty. Completely naked. Hair defying all logic and reason. And a look of contentedness so clear it made him feel all warm inside.

“You know...” Wirt began. “As incredible as that was, I-I think I'm regretting doing all that on the floor when there was a perfectly good bed next to us.” He laughed a little, rubbing one of his legs with his clean hand. Fighting against the ache of his knees and the tide of lethargy in his limbs, he hauled himself to his feet and stepped over dirty laundry to fetch the box of tissues sitting on Dipper's nightstand. He walked back and kneeled in front of his boyfriend, laying a hand on his shoulder and wiping both of them clean.

Dipper smiled a fond smile at the act of tenderness and took the hand that was offered to him to pull him up. He was pretty sure nothing sounded better than making full use of that bed right now.

“Do you wanna just... cuddle... for a bit?” Wirt asked as he eased himself into the covers.

“Sounds perfect,” he grinned. He followed his boyfriend's lead, not satisfied until they were chest to chest and Wirt's arms were wrapped around his torso, enclosing him in a tight embrace. He hummed peacefully, his face shoved into the crook of Wirt's neck. “I guess we got kind of carried away there... You were only supposed to help me wrestle that annoying tie off. My noodle arms and lack of chest hair must just be too irresistible.” Dipper chuckled at how ridiculous that seemed, but it just went to show how amazing Wirt was for being with someone like him. He pressed a chaste kiss to his boyfriend's neck, his lips softly tracing over the love bites he'd left earlier.

Wirt sighed at the feeling of tingles running through him as the angry-looking marks were kissed with a gentleness that perfectly contrasted their earlier...enthusiasm.

Yeah, 'kind of carried away' was an understatement. Definitely not the intention of this visit. “Neither suits nor a certain Dipper Pines are conducive to an emotionally balanced and reasoned mind for me, I gotta say. Especially considering we just...” The last vestiges of his mind's love making-induced cloudiness faded away abruptly and his eyes widened. “...Oh my god. I can't believe we just—with your—they were just _downstairs_. Oh my _god_. Dipper, I-I can't walk out of that door, or walk past them, I'm-I'm gonna have to, to climb out of the window and start—no, wait, I'll end up breaking my legs or something and then I won't be able to run away and I'll be stuck there with them glaring at me and judging me and hating me a-and then they won't call an ambulance and—”

“Seriously?” he interrupted with a laugh, making Wirt's mouth snap shut in the middle of his words. He looked away from Dipper and started tangling and untangling his fingers together. Dipper's laughter subsided as he observed that, and he decided it was more important to ease his apparent distress than to find it kinda funny.

He leaned in and brushed his lips against Wirt's neck once more, but this time, he didn't stop there; his kisses trailed down to his shoulder, over his collar, and his chest.

“Dude,” he mumbled in between the myriad of kisses he left on his skin, “don't worry. My parents love you. And it's not _that_ easy to hear stuff from downstairs. It's not like they came up here, right? We're fine.”

He held himself up and rested his palm over Wirt's heart: _badumbadumbadumbadumbadumbadum_...

“Aw, come on, man. It's okay. I promise.”

Wirt shrugged, eyes fixed on the wall beside his bed. His heartbeat didn't get any slower.

Dipper moved his hand from his chest to his cheek and gently eased him to face forward. Wirt held his gaze for a while before he sighed and his expression softened.

“You're really sure about that? The whole—not hearing us thing?”

“Yeah.” Kiss. “And, look, _I'll_ call the ambulance if you break your legs, okay?”

Wirt smiled at that. He cupped Dipper's face in his hands and pulled him into another kiss, letting him nip at his lips and play sweet havoc with his brain as he moved his tongue into his mouth. If there was any positive point to his constant anxieties, it was in the methods Dipper employed to calm him down from them, and he wasn't above making the most of that.

They separated after half a minute or so of lazy kissing, and Wirt finally said, “Okay.”

Dipper let himself lay his head on Wirt's chest to hear his heartbeat, which, actually, was still pretty fast, but he was pretty sure that was for a different reason this time. As he took the time to listen to the sound, he thought he could hear a low bass thrumming away alongside it. His eyebrows furrowed. Must've been imagining things... Either that or his neighbors were playing their radio obnoxiously loudly.

He just shrugged it off and turned his attention back to Wirt. “Love you.” Dipper got childishly proud about the skipped beat he heard after he'd said that.

“Love you too,” Wirt replied. He ran his fingers through his exceedingly sweet boyfriend's hair. Whilst he wasn't entirely convinced it hadn't been a stupid idea for them to go and do all... _that..._ when they didn't have the place to themselves, he could just about live with the idea that maybe it wasn't as big of a deal as he was making it out to be.

Of course, any possible sense of tranquility flew out the window (possibly to be followed by himself) the instant he heard a knock at the door. Then the two of them became a flurry of flailing arms as they got further apart on the bed and pulled the sheets around them to hide how unclothed they were. _Please don't be his parents, please don't be his parents, please don't be his parents!_

Dipper didn't even get a chance to shout out an anxious, “In a minute!” before the door slammed open, letting an extremely annoying tune from the early 90s hit them both at full force.

Well, at least it wasn't his parents.

But his sister walking in on the both of them very much naked wasn't much better.

She was still decked out in full wedding attire, navy blue dress swishing against her ankles as she shook her body completely off-beat to the song that was playing, not that that little detail was stopping her.

“Seriously, Mabel!” Dipper snapped, sitting up quickly in bed. The blankets that he'd been holding up to his chin pooled around his lap. Wirt, in contrast, stayed stock still. “How many times have I told you to knock?!”

“I did knock!” she retorted, nodding her head to the chorus of the song that was so loud it almost drowned out their conversation. How had none of the neighbors called in a noise complaint yet?

“You know what I mean! Knock and wait for me to say 'come in'!”

Mabel stuck her tongue out and blew a raspberry at him, before responding with a smug, “Really think I could hear you with these sick beats playing?”

Dipper narrowed his eyes at her, but she just tilted her head to listen as the music gradually faded out and stopped.

“And so we say goodbye to the music playlist to end all music playlists.” She clenched her hand into a fist and pulled it down. “Booyah! Perfect timing!”

Mabel shot a grin back at her very naked brother and his very naked, very embarrassed boyfriend.

Dipper let his face fall into the palm of his hands. This really wasn't how he expected his night with Wirt to end. “You are literally the worst,” he deadpanned in a muffled voice.

“Naaah, I think I'm the best!” Mabel giggled, her body still swaying even though there wasn't any music to dance to now. “And you should too!”

Dipper shot her a glare through the spaces between his fingers.

“I mean, who else would throw an impromptu dance party in the middle of the night so their sibling could get laid?”

Wait, what?

“Oops,” she said with another giggle, her hand going to cover her mouth. “Guess the cat's out of the bag now, huh?”

Dipper lowered his hands away from his face.

…How did she...?

She didn't...

She _wouldn't_... Oh, who was he kidding?

She _so_ would.

That's what Mabel was all about, meddling in other people's lives, especially Dipper's. And _especially_ when it came to Wirt—she'd been meddling since day one of their relationship. Well... they maybe wouldn't be in a relationship now if it hadn't been for her and her matchmaking ways, but that was besides the point!

He was getting off topic...

Dipper was still finding it hard to believe that his sister would go to such lengths to make sure he and Wirt... Oh jeez. And by the look of pride on her face, there really was no denying that she'd been masterminding this whole thing. All to... get him laid without parental interruption?

“Aren't I amazing?!” Mabel exclaimed, breaking Dipper away from his thoughts. She twirled around, her dress gracefully floating through the air and her hair ungracefully smacking her in the face. “Pfft... pfft... blegh,” she said, spitting chunks of it out of her mouth. “You... you get my point.”

"Wwwwwhhhhhhyyyyy?" he agonized.

“Uh duh, you were such a grumpy grump aaaall day today that I thought you needed some nerd lovin' from your poetry nerd,” Mabel gestured to Wirt, whose cheeks only flushed in response. “And besides,” she leaned in and whispered conspiratorially, “do either of you have any idea of how loud you are? Like... wow, you guys are so lucky to have me watching out for you!

“Alas... my help comes with a price.”

Everyday, Mabel was a little more like Grunkle Stan. The classic 'make 'em owe you something before they even know they have to' technique was not lost on Dipper.

He sighed, defeated. She had sort of just helped them out from their parents awkwardly walking in on them, and possibly causing Wirt to go jumping out of his window? He did appreciate her effort. Even if it was kind of—okay, well, _really_ weird. But no more than her usual brand of Mabel weirdness.

“What do you want?"

Mabel didn't even take a second to think over her demands; she just squeaked out, “I want you to buy my pudding cups for lunch.”

He knew exactly which ones she was talking about. It had become routine for both of them to get the pudding cups with rainbow sprinkles from the school's cafeteria. But he wasn't going to pay for two of them and... Damn it. He really liked those pudding cups.

“Fine... but only for a week.”

“Oh, c'mon, Dip-Dot, I deserve at least a month! Do you have any idea how much dancing I just did?!”

“Two weeks.”

She leaned against Dipper's doorframe, hand on her forehead in a melodramatic expression of despair. “I spend the whole day keeping our weird relatives entertained at the wedding while you sulked, and _then_ I even went to the trouble of calling your man for you and keeping mom and dad distracted! And two weeks is all I get? _For shame, Dipper!_ ”

He really didn't want to spend the night arguing with his sister over pudding—especially when Wirt was right. Fucking. There—so with a heavy sigh, he conceded, “Fine. A month.”

“Aw, thanks, Dip! You're the best!” With that, Mabel flashed a toothy grin at the two of them. “If you need me, I'll be playing post-love making mood music in my room!” she added before shutting the door.

And true to her word, less than a minute later, the two of them could hear the strum of an acoustic guitar and low male vocals singing a familiar tune.

Of course she would play the song that they danced to at homecoming last semester.

A somewhat awkward silence hung in the air between the two teens for a few moments. Wirt was struggling to figure out how he was meant to respond to Dipper and Mabel's conversation, besides with, well, embarrassment, which he was managing to do with no problems whatsoever.

He loved Mabel, he really did, but that was... that was something else.

"So..." Wirt begun, floundering with what he wanted to say. He twisted the sheets he was still holding in his fingers. "… that was a thing that happened. Wow, um... I-I don't really—were you really that miserable at the wedding?" He blurted out, the thought suddenly coming into his head.

Dipper had his face in his hands, trying to hide the redness in his cheeks. He peeked a glance over at Wirt, and lowered them slowly. “Well... Yeah,” he confessed. “It really sucked... and... the stupid tie and group photos and—and I really missed you.”

Wirt's face softened in sympathy. He reached out to lay his hand on top of Dipper's, playing with his fingers absent-mindedly. “I missed you too,” he murmured, emphasising his point with a kiss to Dipper's temple. “Like a dream one cannot grasp in the face of the morning sun, I was left darkling, lost to time and abstraction. Not that I blame you or anything, it was just... you know, a long day, without you.”

“I have no idea what you just said,” Dipper laughed softly. He let his head rest against Wirt's shoulder. “But it sounded really nice...” As he lay there, a wave of calmness enveloped him and he decided, “You know what? I'm glad Mabel called you. I'm glad you're here right now.”

“...Yeah,” he said, before repeating more resolutely, “Yeah.”

Lying in bed with Dipper's hair tickling his skin, after a lot of good new experiences, sounded a lot better than an evening emulating Ms Langtree, wistful sighs and all. He settled back into the pillows underneath him more comfortably and tried to forget any embarrassments; he wanted to focus on the wonderful company he was in, after all.

But when he heard a distant, “Mabel, honey, can you come down here, please?” from Dipper's mother, Wirt cringed.

“Uh... as much as I loved this evening, I think—I think we should try and resist any temptations until we have the house to ourselves next time.”

"Agreed!"

**Author's Note:**

> Dipper: Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and suit-iful?


End file.
